Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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