Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
