I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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