I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
