I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
