So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
