my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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