how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
