david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
