I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
