Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
