I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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