Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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