kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
