You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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