Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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