My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
