did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
