i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
