I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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