I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
