i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize