At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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