I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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