She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
