The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
