and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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