Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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