Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
