Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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