i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
