I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
