worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
