I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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