well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm passing your future prison.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
