margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
