Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize