I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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