if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
