my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
