This girl is more easily done than said...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Terrible idea I love it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
