know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
