Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
