At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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