hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
