Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize