if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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