What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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