so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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