I'm so fucking centered right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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