I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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