Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
