Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
