I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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