i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
