Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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