She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
